Date: December 24th 2008
 Dear Education Professionals, Welcome to the Education World's Education Humor Newsletter. This newsletter is published weekly as a free service by Education World®. You are receiving this newsletter because you signed up to receive our weekly mailing of G-rated jokes and other humor related to the "education world." If you enjoy this newsletter, please feel free to forward it to other teachers. If this newsletter has been forwarded to you, you may sign up to receive it at http://www.educationworld.com/maillist.shtml. Education World is the largest free resource on the Web for teachers and school administrators. We remain a free resource thanks to the support of our advertisers -- so please click on ads of interest and visit our advertisers' sites. ========================================================================
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This week's newsletter is sponsored by Online Degree Directory. Further your teaching skills with the latest theories and practices -- get a Master of Arts in Education: Curriculum and Instruction. You'll learn practical and relevant information you can instantly apply to your classroom. Inspire your students and faculty -- get your Doctoral in Education: Leadership for Higher Education. Programs developed in collaboration with the American Association of School Administrators (AASA). And discover more available programs with FREE Information from Online Universities - Online Degree Directory. http://www.educationworld.com/OnlineDegree2.shtml =========================================================================== Volume 7, Issue 52 ************************************************************************ HIGHLIGHTS FROM
THE EDUCATION WORLD HUMOR NEWSLETTER PAST EDITIONS The Skills We Learn Today
by Forrest Stone
Whenever teachers ask me stuff
I have no clue about
I stutter, mutter, sputter, utter
nonsense my way out
It's really quite a clever trick
they leave me there to snore
after I've made such noises
no one's ever heard before
Years from now when I'm pursuing
the career I'd like to ride
all the way to easy street
to be admired far and wide
The same approach, I'm sure,
will keep those big wheels a'turning
and I'll look back and thank my teacher
who let me wriggle out of learning
When Will We Need to Know This?
by Forrest Stone
I raised my hand with a sly grin
Our new, young teacher to begin
To puzzle with my clever ways
And earn the other students’ praise
“When will we need to know this, please?”
I asked when teacher called on me:
“Perhaps one person in the school
Will ever need this ob scure rule.”
“Won’t need it when I go to vote;
Won’t need this stuff to stay afloat
Upon the economic seas …
When will we need to know this, please?”
I had that newbie dead to rights
Like Bambi in the dread headlights
She looked at me, and I could feel
Her blood was running cold as steel
“You’ll need it,” slowly she replied –
I figured that her brain was fried!
Then, suddenly, she said the rest:
“You’ll need it when I give the test.”
Undiscovered Country
by Forrest Stone
Neil Armstrong went up to the moon one fine day
And Byrd flew right over the Pole
James Cook was the guy who turned scurvy away
For De Anza, L.A. was the goal
Eric the Red went to Greenland, it's said
Flinders found Tasmania an isle
Gagarin was first to fly space overhead
And Hillary topped Everest with a smile
The alphabet could be explored, right through it
To Zhang Quian, who went to the Steppes
But none with more courage than the poor substitute
Who into a new classroom schleps
The substitute teacher – explorer for sure!
As courageous as Clark or Da Gama
For the natives encountered on that cote d' azure
Will soon have you crying for Mama
These Are a Few Things a Teacher Should Read
(Sung to the tune of “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music)
by Forrest Stone
Rousseau and Skinner and old Montessori
Jonathan Kozol sure writes a sad storySteiner and Adler might make your eyes bleed
But these are a few things a teacher should read
Erickson, Froebel, and Constructivism
Hirsch versus Bloom was a really good schism
John Dewey’s classic, “My Ped’gogic Creed”
These are a few things a teacher should read
When the peace breaks, when the kid screams
When you’re turning puce
You look back at these theoretical tracts
And suddenly they’re … no use!
Teacher Couplet 1,847: The "End" of the Day
Done for the day I clap my hands
The chalk dust billows ampersands **************************************************************************
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========================================================================== Education World now incorporates www.SchoolNotes.com ~ "everybody on the same page!" The leading school-to-home communications platform, with FREE pages for teachers and automatic notification of parents and students when new homework is posted! For a modest $24.95 PER YEAR, upgrade to Personal Edition, "Super SchoolNotes," with thousands of resources linked to your state's standards. Click here for more information. ========================================================================== MORE FEATURES OF INTEREST! ========================================================================== SIGN UP FOR OUR OTHER NEWSLETTERS
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